I seem to have hit this feel like a "bad mommy" week...well at least the last couple of days. I am not so sure what it is but at times I kinda feel like Tyson deserves a better mom. I sit there and listen to my mother-in-law tell me how good he was for her and how he didn't cry once all morning after I get home from work and then the next day, when I am the one with him in the morning, that is all he seems to do. I put him down to play, he cries. I feed him breakfast, he cries. I read him books, he cries. I try to sing with him, he cries. I am just not sure what all this crying is about. It makes me wanna cry, if I'm being honest! Why is it that he is so good for her and not me? Not to mention the fact that he will be all happy for her and she will still load my dishes and put them away, or vacuum the living room, or fold laundry.
As I sit here and think about all these different things and about how I feel like such a bad mommy, I look back on the last year (Yup that's right! Tyson is almost a year old!) and wonder if I really have been a bad mommy. I think about all the diapers I've changed, all the hours of sleep I've sacrificed, all the loads of laundry, all the new clothes, all the time that I have put into helping him develop and grow the way that he should, all the doctors appointments and ear infections, all the vaccinations and luke warm baths to soothe those sore legs, and all the love that I have felt coming from that little boy and from my own heart! I honestly never thought that I could love another person, such a small person at that, so much along with loving my husband. I have definitely learned the difference between the love for your spouse and the love for your child. I think of the big smiles he gives me and the waves and the hi's. I think about how even though he can't say Mom he still lights up when I walk in the room and comes to me as fast as he can. I think about how blessed I am to be the mother of such a beautiful, smart, fun baby boy!
I just want to express how much a love this little boy and how grateful I am that he is in my life and that he is mine and Chris's to have for eternity! I can not express how grateful I am for eternal families! It is a great blessing a knowledge in my everyday life!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE my precious angel son, even when he cries and I feel like the worst mom in the world! I can't help but love my son!
10 years ago
1 comment:
He loves you so much! Dont be too hard on yourself about feeling like your a bad mom because your not. Maybe its just a phase & who knows maybe he does cry at your MIL sometimes but she doesnt always tell you. I know Bailee must cry sometimes at my parents but they always say that she was really good because I think they think I wont want them to watch her or something. Its a learning experience & Im sure he will get over it quickly. It was fun to see you at the playgroup. Im glad you could come! I miss seeing & talking to you.
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